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How to find out if two people are chatting on Facebook

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Would you like to know if your spouse, child or best friend is chatting on Facebook with another person? The answer is “Yes” but you don’t know yet how to find out if two people are chatting on Facebook? Well, know that this is normal. Unfortunately (or fortunately, it depends on your point of view) for reasons related to privacy, Facebook does not allow you to know when a person is actually chatting with another person, much less with whom.

At present, Facebook only lets you know when a person is online and, consequently, when they might be engaged in a chat. Obviously it is difficult, if not impossible, to understand if two specific people are actually chatting with each other because, despite being both online, they could be engaged in conversations with other people not present in their contact list and of whom, therefore, it is not possible to check the been online.

Nevertheless it is possible to use some “tricks” that can give some useful clues to understand if a user could be engaged or not in a conversation on Facebook (therefore on Messenger). In short, nothing prevents you from trying to “investigate” and “guess” whether or not a user is chatting with a person you know. How? Read on and you will find out.

Check his last login

Check the last login of two people can help you understand if they are chatting with each other. If the last access of these matches, perhaps several times, there could be a good chance that they are in contact and converse often with each other. Now I’ll explain how to proceed. Keep in mind, however, that if you have deactivated your online status on Facebook you will not see the last access of the people you intend to monitor, and you will not be able to do so even if one of them has decided to do so.

From smartphones and tablets

You intend to act from smartphones and tablets? Very good! In this case all you have to do is go to the chat of the users you think they can converse with each other in Facebook Messenger and see when they last logged into the messaging platform.

Then, access Messenger from its app for Android/iOS / iPadOS and make sure you have activated the online status by pressing on your profile picture (top left), then pressing on the wording Status of activity and moving (if necessary) up ON the switch Show when you are active or Show your activity status (depending on the device in use).

Then return to the screen Chat of the Messenger app and tap on conversation of one of the people you are monitoring (if you don’t see it, search for it by pressing the icon pencil placed at the top right and looking for it using the appropriate search bar).

Unless the person in question has deactivated their activity status, you should see their last login at the top of the screen (under their name). By comparing the last access of your “suspected” users, perhaps by cross-comparing over time, you may be able to understand if they chat (even if you will never be absolutely certain, as I have already told you).

From PC


You want to see the last login made on Messenger from the PC? You can proceed as follows.

  • From Messenger Web – log into Messenger on his web version, click the button (…) (top left) and select the items Preferences> Activate activity status (if necessary). Next, go to the chats relating to the people you want to “spy” by searching for them using the search bar at the top left. If their active status has not been disabled, you will be able to see their last login at the top of the chat (under their name).
  • From Facebook – log into Facebook on his web version, check the list on the right containing all active users: next to their name, you can see the date and time of their last access (eg. 38 m indicates that the user logged on 38 minutes ago or 6 h if the user logged in 6 hours earlier). This detail could make you guess if two people were online at the same time and, therefore, if they could have actually chatted together.

Note: if you do not see the side menu showing active users on the web version of Facebook, perhaps the layout is set to activate automatically when a web page is zoomed. To display the side menu with the list of active users, zoom out the page that is opened in your browser using the key combination Ctrl + 0 (on Windows) or cmd + 0 (on macOS).

I remind you that some users may have set their account in such a way that they are not active on Messenger. In this case, you can’t control if and when I’m online, sorry.

Check its online status

Check if a person is online on Messenger, checking that the green dot, is another way to know if she might be in a Messenger conversation with one of your other online contacts. However, you must take into consideration the fact that the person you “spied on” could chat with people not on your “friends” list: this means that you cannot determine with absolute certainty if he is actually talking to some other user who is active. or if, indeed, she is simply online but not engaged in any conversation. So far all clear? Well, then read on to learn how to see when a user is online on Facebook.

From smartphones and tablets


For see a person’s online status from smartphones and tablets, you have to follow practically the same indications that I have already given you in one of the previous chapters, with the difference that in this case you will see a green dot instead of the data relating to the last access.

Also in this case, what has already been widely reiterated is valid: neither you nor the people you are monitoring must have hidden their online status on Messenger.

From PC


For see if a person is online on Facebook from their PC, you have to follow the same steps that I have already given you in one of the previous chapters. Change only one thing: as I told you, instead of seeing the last access in this case you will see a green dot which confirms the person’s online status.

I remind you that some users may have set their account in such a way that they are not active on Messenger. In this case, you can’t control if and when I’m online, sorry.

Use parental control apps

Parental Control

If you have ended up on this article because you want to check who your children chat with, you may have been disappointed by the fact that Facebook does not allow (at least not officially) to know if a user, at a given moment, is chatting and possibly with whom. This does not mean, however, that you cannot take precautionary measures to check who your children are conversing with, perhaps using some parental control app.

Have no idea what parental control apps are? I’ll explain it to you right away. These applications, created specifically to allow parents to track their children’s online activity, allow you to view all the operations that are performed on the mobile devices in which they are installed. Thanks to this kind of applications, therefore, it is possible to see when your children chat, with whom and even what they write during the chat!

One of the most popular parental control apps is Mobile Fence, available only for devices Android. Mobile Fence allows you to monitor the activity of your children at 360 degrees: from the SMS sent and received to the web history, passing through the chats and incoming and outgoing calls. This app even allows you to locate the device it controls, receive alerts when the device receives messages containing suggestive or obscene terms and even remotely limit the operations that your child can perform (very useful function to prevent them from getting into trouble ).

Mobile Fence can be used upon subscription to a subscription plan that amounts to $ 36 per year (There is however a trial that allows you to use the service free of charge for 30 days). If you decide to use this app to find out who they catch your children with on Messenger, please read the guide in which I explain how to spy on an Android phone containing detailed information on using Mobile Fence.

Another good application for parental control is Qustodio, a solution available on both Android than on iOS / iPadOS thanks to which it is possible to monitor all the activities of your children: SMS sent and / or received, apps used, web history, access to the log of incoming and outgoing calls, geographical location of the device and much more.

If you want, you can download Qustodio for free from the stores, but to access its complete functions (such as the one to check chats and messages sent) you need to subscribe to the subscription that starts from 42.95 euros per year. If you decide to download Qustodio and subscribe, don’t hesitate to read this tutorial for a detailed explanation of its use.

Caution: monitoring the activities of other people without permission could constitute a serious violation of privacy and represent a criminal offense. Therefore, I do not take responsibility for how you will use the information contained in this article which, of course, has been provided for illustrative purposes only..